


Tide Pulls

by chimneysmoke (recension)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 08:04:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/recension/pseuds/chimneysmoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Remus/Sirius/Harry POA so like your father in the face and blood, terrified and cold"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tide Pulls

**Author's Note:**

> For the _Welcome Home_ Harry Potter LJ ficathon.
> 
> Original prompt: "Remus/Sirius/Harry POA so like your father in the face and blood, terrified and cold"

"He's just like James," Sirius tries to explain, his voice cracking as Remus paces the room—angry and confused. "He was just like James... I couldn't..."

Remus wants to shout. Wants to berate Sirius for his mistakes and threaten punishment if they're ever made again, but Azkaban can melt a man's mind right out his ears. It doesn't seem right to open up the wounds and shame the man for something he can't control. 

"He's just _like_ James but he _isn't James,_ Sirius," Remus explains, stilling his pacing. "You need to know that. What you are to him... you are a _father_ to him now, closest he's got. We both are. And you can't... he'll never recover from this..."

Sirius is shaking, his hands quivering so he shoves them in his pockets and nods sullen. He's acting boyish, slumping in his chair like a teenager. Remus worries if he's truly lost his friend to madness now. Does Sirius know how many years have passed? Does he really understand the consequences of his actions?

 

Sirius thinks of Moony's words but a stronger thought takes root that he is just a boy himself. James would want him to be happy. James would want Harry to be happy. 

Sirius overrides Remus' warnings in favor of his dead lover's imagined wishes.

 

Remus watches Harry as he moves, the way he hops on chairs and runs around the house playing games with the other children. _Children,_ he reminds himself, but there's something so unlike a child in Harry. He sees Sirius' point, and knows how in the dark, with a soft mind and confusion... if the boy was willing... 

He stops his thoughts before they turn.

Remus crawls into Sirius' bed, gives him someone to hold onto instead. Occupies the space the boy had taken. Sirius had never gotten over losing James twice: first to Lily, then to death. Even when he'd been locked away, imprisoned for James' death, he still hadn't been whole. The death of a lover. The death of the lover. 

Remus lets Sirius hug his center, hold him tight. He remembers the nights he shared keeping Padfoot together when the engagement was announced. They'd fallen into each other as a way to cope, but Remus had been strong enough for the both of them to lie and pretend it was nothing when it ended. He prays he has the strength again. When Harry comes of age there's little he'll be able to do to stop it. He'll be cast aside.

 

He overhears Harry talking to Sirius in the library of the house, hushed tones and a door barely ajar in the middle of the afternoon. Harry asks if he's done something wrong, asks if he can fix it somehow. Make it up to Sirius. He pleads, his voice cracking with need and first heartache.

Remus hears the pops of buttons and the slip of wet saliva and the familiar strangled sighs of relief from the boy and the man. He shuts the door and locks it for them.

He'll mention it later, end it, not embarrass them now. He wonders if Harry tastes like James used to.

 

Sirius lays on his bed, cold, refusing to have Kreacher light the fireplace. Remus does it for him, brings in the wood himself and lays the foundation before the charm. Harry's gone back to school, which wouldn't matter if Remus had been able to put an end to the whole thing like he'd intended. Instead, Sirius is on the bed doubled over in pain and it's like James has left them all over again.

The fire lights, the wood catching and Remus wishes it was a full moon so he could be anywhere else.


End file.
